How are you? How do you feel?
simple questions but sometimes it’s the hardest ones to answer.
instead of telling the truth we just lie so in the age of eleven i stopped of answering it. sometimes they say I’m Unpolite or Rude. I don’t care in my thoughts its better than lies. Even when I’m start to feel something it doesn‘t go right. in my childhood i didn’t though of it much but i don’t have any special memorys just shadows of my favorite tree, places and smells no people. but i envy people who have alot of memorys and the feelings that they had during that moment. you shoud be grateful of what you had. Fell nothing most of the time i just feel nothing day by day i woke up nothing that’s the feeling i have i even started to add some actions for me just for me. I even searched on the enter net of some advises tag how to add Joy to your own self to your soul end tag.. dance first advice sing second advice run third advice and one Maniac told me kill someone or even your self the problem is i actually though about it so much that wanted to kill him. so i started dancing, singing runing i just start runing from my life. as me feeling nothing was nothing to me until my mother wanted me to see a doctor “sweety your face stopped shining ” see said to me. the thing is that she realized just now. do you what. i actually imagined me killing her. i always say if you can’t to take care of your children don’t have any. that’s it just don’t have any. you destroy is by giving birth to us and a band us like stuff that you have so you can ues nothing more. and my mother after seventy years the tell me “sweety your face stopped shining ” sweety your face stopped shining sweety your face stopped shining sweety your face stopped. actually yes my face stopped shining since the day you sarted to have your own life your own everything. tell you what mom i smoked i took drugs i tried to kill my self but where were you where were you.. I think you should start asking your self where were you.. back to where we stopped. someone will say didn’t you love someone. honestly i didn’t. who. i don’t know. why. i don’t know either. maybe because of my friend. Do you know that stupid friend that you have fall in love gets his heart broken come to you to ease some pain that was my only one and lonely just me and her sometimes i say maybe i love her but i don’t feel any special efforts to have her heart any moves to have her only for me. so yes i didn’t fall in love and there is no intention of falling into someone traps.