“So what’s up?” I asked taking a seat next to my best friend, Sabelo Ntuli. “I haven’t chilled with you for two days and you’re nowhere to be found on your social networks. What’s keeping you busy? The surprise?” I pointed his abs with my eyes.
He gave a lazy, half-suppressed laugh. “I’ve been breaking hearts” he gave me ice cream.
“You can say that again. Poor Thando was really hurt.”
“She wasn’t the only one. I broke up with all my girlfriends; I’m single.”
“You…? Single?” I cracked up. The last time Sabelo was single was 2 years ago after he broke up with his second girlfriend, after that he’s been a ladies’ man.
“Mbalenhle, I’m serious.”
I pulled myself together. He was serious and that was serious. He looked and sounded sad.
“Why now? Got tired of being a player?”
“I was never a player, Lee.”
“Oh. Explain having more than ten girlfriends to me…” I crossed my arms on my chest.
“There’s this girl I love, who loves me more than any girl could ever love me.”
“More than me?” I asked not sure I wanted to know.
“Probably.” He replied.
My heart sank, my ice cream fell on the ground.
“You can have mine.” He offered.
“No, I don’t… So tell me, do you love her because she loves you or you just love her?”
“I have no reason for loving her. I just love her.”
“If so, why aren’t you together? Why don’t you go for her?” my tone could tell I was jealous but he didn’t focus on that.
“I can’t find her. My first and second girlfriend couldn’t make me forget about her so I thought why not create her. And that’s when I started approaching every girl with at least one of the things I love about her.”
“Wow! That’s very selfish, Sabelo!” my voice was husky from the tears I tried so hard to hold inside.
“I thought I could love them like I love her. I tried focusing on the traits that matched hers and ignored the rest, that way I felt happy. Thando had her fierceness; Sane had her curves, Asanda had a heart of pure gold just like hers, Zamile had her smile, Sbusisiwe had her…” he kept going on and on, totally lost in his words.
Tears crawled down my cheeks, my friend was in love and that girl was me.
“Sabelo, please. Just stop!”
“In my heart I’ve always known you’re the one for me, I just didn’t know where to find you.” He whispered, too close his warm breath kissing my skin. My body started trembling as his shaky hands touched my cheeks, wiping away the tears. His teary eyes made him look vulnerable and I wanted to reach out to him like he always does to me when I’m hurt.
He leaned forward pulling me to his face and all I could see were his parted lips. Our lips collided and the gates of heaven opened. All I could think of was how good he was caressing my lips, sucking all my sadness and pain away.
This is perfect, I thought. It felt right but it was wrong. Sabelo was my best friend and I still had feelings for Thato. The thought disturbed me and I pulled away.
“Maybe if you had looked right in front of you, you would’ve found her…”
I was angry with myself more than him.