Every town in America has one kid who’s “creepy” or “weird”. The kid who gets made fun of and no one wants to be around. I was that kid. I grew up in a small town, everyone went to the same school, and we all lived relatively close. Ive been picked on since I was in kindergarten, it started because I wore glasses and had a stutter. I don’t have it any more, thanks speech therapy.
My mother left my dad and I when I was 11. She and my dad argued all the time. One morning I woke up and she was gone. My dad went into a deep depression. He was never physically abusive, at first. He would yell at me, but I’d just run to my room and do my school work.
When I was in the 5th grade, I had a big crush on this girl, Amya. I thought she was so pretty and cute. She seemed so nice too. In our school, entire classes would swap rooms, so sometimes I’d leave notes in her desk. Other times I was too afraid to talk to her so I’d just follow her during recess and watch her with her friends. On Valentines day I brought her flowers. Well, she didn’t accept them, in fact she ran away from me. I was as heart broken as a 5th grader could be, but that wasn’t the worst of it.
I rode the bus home, and my house was a short walk from the bus stop. As I walked home, these kids on there bikes pulled up in front of me, started cursing at me, calling me “creep” and “weirdo” then when I tried to walk around them one grabbed me and hit me. I fell to the ground and they all started kicking me and hitting me, while calling me a lot of things. And after a little they left me. I was crying, curled up on the sidewalk all alone. I managed to get up and get home. I walked in and my dad was already drunk. He asked me with a slur “What happened to you?” I told him how I had gotten beaten up. He said “What kind of a son are you? Can’t even defend yourself. You really are worthless” that was the first time he hit me. He continued with his rambles about me and I just ran up stairs in tears.
Because of everything that has happened, I never got the chance to make new friends, when someone would move here the first thing they’d here is how horrible and weird I was. Kids started making roumors about me. Needless to say I wasn’t invited to any parties, hangouts or whatever people do. I got beaten up at school whenever I was alone, and abused when I was home. I felt so alone. Like I had no control over my life at all.
I found a little rabbit In my back yard, he had broken his leg and managed to limp to my yard. I picked him up. He was so small and so frightened. Then I looked at the broken part of his leg, it looked like it had been twisted. I grabbed it, and twisted it even more. He started thrashing violently. He was in so much pain. But I kept going. When I stopped he was still shaking, and making noise. I took my left hand and put it around his neck and started choking him. It began to struggle even more. It was fighting all it could but i held on tighter and tighter. Until he stopped. I stood there in my backyard with the dead rabbit. That was the first time I had control of anything. I had control over its life and it felt reliving. I felt great. From then on I would capture small animals and torture them.
Sometimes I was more simple with it, I would kill them after hurting them. Others I made it slow and painful, keeping them in the brink of death for days. It was like an addition, I just wanted to keep doing it. I would post some of the pictures on a more based website, and I got pretty popular on there. I would normally do that stuff in my room. I would make sure to clean up after. Once, I captured a squirrel. I locked him in a box and didn’t feed him for a long time. But it managed to survive. I didn’t know that the squirrel was pregnant. When it had its children it ate them to survive. I was shocked and pleased to find it alive after a day or two. I finally found another being that was in an impossible situation and made it out. I decided to keep it as a pet. I named it jigsaw.
I would feed it other things and animals I found. When I was in my junior year of high school. I finally met someone who I became friends with. She moved here from another state. She was similar to me. She didn’t have many friends. She sat alone at lunch. I began to talk to her. Her name was Jade. She had black hair, that was short. We got along great. We eventually started hanging out after school two. Her mother was so self absorbed that she would pretend Jade didn’t exist. She was also a substance abuser. My father was too drunk to care where I went. We would hang out at her house most often, but we did go to my house sometimes. One night she turned to me.
“Listen, i’m gonna ask you something really stupid, and you’ll probably hate me for this. Is this your room?”
She handed me her phone, which showed one of the pictures I posted online. At first I was gonna lie and say no, but then I realized, she also browsed that website. So I said yes.
“Oh my God… you did these?” She seemed excited.
“yeah, I did..”
“They are so amazing, I’m kind of a fan”
I was shocked and excited to have someone else to talk to about this. From then on her and I would work together on it. It was something we could both bond over. Being in control. She was the first one to suggest we try a person. I was excited. We both talked about and and realized it had to be someone who could disappear that would make sense.
We spent the next few months trying to pick someone. We settled on a girl. Her name was Bethany. She was the “rebel” type. The type of girl with piercings and who thought that depression was trendy. She had written a suicide letter once but didn’t go through, and instead of throwing it away she kept it in her room. We really aren’t sure why. Jade and I figured that she was perfect.
Every year the everyone has a party for Halloween. We found out through eavesdropping that Bethany was planning to go to it. We knew there would be alcohol at the party so, we spiked Bethany’s drink with a little “good night princess”. When I carried her out I just looked a caring person helping my drunk friend. We brought her to my house.
We knew my dad would be passed out. We brought her into my garage. And strapped her to a chair. When she finally woke up she was shocked and scared. Jade and I were ecstatic. We made sure Bethany saw all the tools we had on the table, but we weren’t going to used many. Jade and I we’re still new to this and we didn’t want to take any chances. She began to beg, frantically to each of us. I let Jade go first. She grabbed a knife from the table. Bethany began screaming and crying. She was yelling for help, but no one was coming, and Jade made sure she knew that.
“No one is coming to get you. They don’t even know that you’re gone, but feel free to keep screaming” she whispered in her ear. Jade then began to cut Bethany’s wrists. She began saying that she wanted to live and that she’s sorry for whatever she did. It was my turn.
I grabbed the knife from Jade and said to Bethany “Well, that isn’t what this says” I held up the letter she had written. “How do you even have that? What is wrong with you?” We explained everything to her. How she got here, what we wanted to do, and how it was going to look when she was found. “It’s just going to look like a regular suicide. No one will know” her eyes widened as she began to cry and scream for help. We spent around two hours taking turns on her. Eventually she died in the chair.
We took some photos as well, framed them, they turned out really nicely. We took her back to her house, laid her in her bed with the note and a knife and left. I just got back to my house and Jade is going home right now. I wanted to document this just in case something went wrong, I will keep you all updated.