My most haunting memory

This is something I haven’t told anyone. The only ones who do know are my relatives. A little backstory to this. my mom had me at 16 and to this day is terrible at picking men. When this happened I was around four or five, I’m sorry I’m not exactly sure but all I remember is being very little. An I have many traumatic stories caused by this guy but this one is the most horrific.

My mom was dating a dealer and he was extremely possessive of her. So I wasn’t allowed to spend a lot of time with her. The dealer lived with his family. There was his mother, grandmother, and two little boys that were older than me. I can’t remember who the little boys belonged to but I spent most of time playing video games with them. Visiting as much as I could, I was there a lot but never lived there. I only spent nights because I lived with my grandparents. It was always like a war zone there, I remember the physical fights my mom and the dealer would get into. I remember some of the horrible things he would say to her. There was one day that has haunted me for years though. My mom had left to do something and everyone else was gone. I can’t remember the events that led up to this but I remember him clear as daylight saying with a smile, “I’m going to kill you.” Maybe it was instinct because I lived in a very ghetto town but I ran. I ran as fast as I could, tears streaming down my face, horrified. I went into the bathroom locked the door and hid under the sinks cabinets. Trying not to choke or scream. I could hear him loudly yelling things like, “Come out” and “Get out here you little b*”. That’s when I heard the bathroom door handle violently shake. He found me. I didn’t know the doors lock didn’t actually work so once I heard it open, I was paralyzed. He was going to kill me. Everything started to happen at once. He was screaming things at me as he opened the cabinets, pulling me out by my hair, dragging me to a room I wasn’t allowed in, and throwing me on a bed. He jumped on the bed balled up his fist and pounded into me. Screaming that it was all my fault. I was taking my mom away from him. After a few more punches I blacked out. When I came to he was gone and instead of on the bed I was in my mothers arms. She was sobbing over me how sorry she was and it was all her fault. That’s when I saw it, my body had bruises everywhere. I began to cry my eyes out once the pain and terror sunk in. The dealer stood in the door and was drinking a beer. It was obvious he was drunk. Terrified I grabbed onto my mom and she tightly held me. The entire time he just stood there smiling. I must’ve blacked out again because I can’t remember what happened after except for that night. This night is the reason I have become overly protective of my mom. I decided to make a run for it and get help. My body was sore and it was exhausting to walk but I knew I needed to get my mom and myself out. So I made for the front door. My mom and the dealer had a mattress in living room close to the door, so I knew I had to be quiet or else we would really be killed. I carefully walked around, praying I wouldn’t make a sound, luckily he was still asleep when I got to the door. I looked back at where he was as I unlocked the door. Unfortunately the door clicked when it unlocked which made him wake up. Him beating me is nothing compared to watching him sit up, take a knife, and hold it against my sleeping mothers throat with an evil smile. Again tears started to stream down my face and I ran back to boys bedroom. That’s where I slept when I went there. I remember laying in bed, silently crying and praying to god to not let him kill her. If god does exist then he heard me because he didn’t kill her. I can’t end this story very well because I’m not sure what happened after. My mind has blocked many memories due to so much trauma. What I can do is tell you what happened in the very end of things. The dealer was arrested. He was charged with attempted murder, assault, rape, and a few other things. I’m not sure if he is still alive because I’m almost 20 now and have cut off all communication with his family. His family was very sweet to me and his mother was the one to call the police. We were all terrorized by him. He constantly made threats to everyone and beat them which is why it took so long for his mother to have the courage.

Anyways, thank you for reading my most haunting memory. Please stay safe everyone. If you’re in a bad situation like we were do not hesitate to run away and get help.

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